Bending... Breaking... and Stretching the Rules!

Today I did one of my favorite things… I tested the rules. I like the term ‘tested’ much more than ‘stretched’ or even ‘broke’ because it makes the alleged rule breaking much less serious sounding! Loosely living by the motto ‘All rules are made to be broken’ I often test different systems, wondering the real reason for their existence.

Over the Christmas holiday, my bags seem to expand and gain weight far more than my physical body does. Perhaps that’s a blessing – it takes all the extra caloric intake and stuffs it inside the walls of my suitcase instead of my inner thighs. However, I always have issues with bringing stuff BACK after a Holiday in Idaho! Having an extremely early flight this morning, I spent my last evening in Potato Land rolling, cramming, stuffing… ANYTHING to try to make everything fit in my carry-on. Because of the rise in gas prices (and yes, this has stayed in effect even now as they have fallen), the airlines charge for each suitcase checked. I was determined not to have to pay the $15 it took to check a bag… or a box… or anything else for that matter. The only problem is that I ended up with a VERY pregnant carry-on roll bag, laptop case, purse, nice pea coat (which I planned on wearing), huge snowboarding coat, and a few misc items like 2 huge hardback coffee table books, a bible, and a large mug. Watching me struggle, my mom kindly offered to pay the stupid fee but… no. This had become more than a way to save a few bucks. It had become a challenge.

I woke up this morning with a HUGE birthday bag (big enough to fit a small child) outside my door. My mom had the brilliant plan for me to put my coat, laptop bag, purse, and misc items all together, thus only bringing on the allocated 2 items (one roller bag… and a ‘small personal item’… hmmmm…). After successfully fitting everything in these 2 ‘items’ I began to laugh, as the birthday bag far exceeded the roller bag both in size and in weight. Furthermore, my hopes to be inconspicuous and sneak this on the airplane flew out the window, for the bag was covered from top to bottom with brightly colored hippopotamuses covered in birthday hats, blowing party poppers.

I was a bit nervous walking through the airport, but other than the security guard asking me if I was MOVING somewhere (my response was to nervously laugh and quickly say ‘no!’), it seemed to be working just fine. Maybe I WAS inconspicuous. An amazon girl, wearing a bright pink coat with a roller suitcase and birthday bag big enough to fit a real baby hippo in perhaps wasn’t as bad as I thought. Then I noticed everyone in the gate whispering and staring. My face began to heat as I imagined what they were saying ‘look at all that stuff… why did we have to check the bag??’

As the gate agent explained the rules to us before boarding (one SMALL personal item and a roller bag) I pretended like I didn’t hear. However, as they called us to board, I took out my boarding pass and my heart fell as I realized… I didn’t have a seat assignment! Looking like a poor puppy who is about to get caught for something horrible, I treaded (with my giant hippo bag and carry on in tow!) to the counter… expecting to get a major rebuke. However, a rebuke didn’t come… instead, the woman smiled at me and said ‘wow… you’re tall! Today’s your lucky day!”

Thinking my ‘lucky day’ included an exit row seat, which made me ecstatic with excitement, I looked at the ticket… first class. I ran on the plane as quickly as possible, piling all my stuff around my feet, covering it up with a blanket, and sighed with relief – I had made it!

The good news is… The bag didn’t break open and contents didn’t spill out of our fearless friend Hippo until AFTER I was already on the tram headed to the main terminal. The bad news is… I had to walk holding him together while still rolling the pull bag, looking much like a very tall old woman bent over because of a torn lower back muscle.

I definitely fulfilled the challenge and broke a few rules in the process. However, next time, to save the wear and tear on my muscles and nerves, maybe I’ll just pay the $15.